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| Living with HIV |
By early 1996 I was HIV positive. I had nowhere to turn. No services were around for men in my age group.  I knew about HIV, I saw the literature everywhere, but by early 1996 I was HIV positive. I had nowhere to turn. No services were around for men in my age group. It was February of 1996. I barely made it from Vancouver back to Victoria before I collapsed on my bed and remained there for the next three months in which I went through sero-conversion (the body’s initial reaction to HIV infection) and lost 56 pounds. By the time I was well again and on my feet, I had already dragged myself to AIDS Vancouver Island (AVI) to register as an HIV positive client.I was in shock from finding out I was HIV +. Many times I sat with my client worker and talked, not just about HIV but how it now also played a role in all my personal relationships and in my life. AVI helped ground me at a time when I had many unresolved issues. Without AVI and the many programs I've benefitted from, and had the opportunity to participate in, I would not have had the strength to live life, to be life, to move forward. My mental and physical health simply would not be where it is today had I not become a client of AVI and an active volunteer there. I don't even want to imagine otherwise. Not a day goes by where I don't benefit simply from walking through the doors of AVI. From lunches five days a week, to retreats, programs for well being, assistance with disability matters, the list is endless. Certainly a part of me died when I became HIV positive. I needed to shed some of the past and look forward to the future. One simple step through the doors of AVI opened the world to me at a time when all else seemed to be failing miserably. It’s now 13 years later. I’ve laughed, smiled, been angry, remote, obtuse, argued with, hugged and smiled more then ever in my life. I’ve befriended and lost many friends to HIV/AIDS over the last 13 years and met many wonderful people. I am reminded every day that I walk in the shoes of the many who have walked before me. Space for programs at AVI has always been at a premium. At times new programs simply cannot operate in the space available. Clients in the drop in are shoulder to shoulder all the time. Conflicts happen simply because of that. Programs run on top of each other due to lack of space. Birthdays, holidays and memorials are now held mostly off site in order to accommodate the number of clients, family and friends attending. I look forward as an HIV+ person to the day the ribbon is cut on the new ACCESS building and AVI is actually settled in. I see it already in my head. This alone allows me to focus ahead, to live in the moment, and to live for the future. |